Scan today

Just fitted in the all-important CT Scan between amazing holiday up in Scotland at Doug and Rachel's, back on the train yesterday and a very special lunch date with Gabi (over from Sweden) and Phil (the very good reason for her being over!). My life is a wirlwind of good things and good people...

Now is the time to tell you about scans - a feature of our modern medicine. As a procedure it is in no way unpleasant but it is pretty damn weird! You get asked to drink a pint of water (or infact the first time, really horrible orange squash with a hint of aniseed). Then you lie down underneath a doughnut-like machine that tells you when to breathe and when to hold your breath. You get injected with this black dye that goes into your arm down a curly telephone-cord tube. You get calmly told that you might feel one or all of 3 sensations: a metalic taste in your mouth, a warm or hot feeling inside and the sensation that you have just wet yourself (they of course say urinate!). I told the guy today (from my vast experience of one previous scan) that it was just like when you wee in a wet suit, just that it's inside your skin. Now those of you who have never done this won't know what I'm talking about and those of you who have, will be slightly embarassed that I'm admitting to it. Anyway he seemed to appreciate it - after all - 'expert patient' and all that.

If this all sounds rather flippant, it isnt the whole story. This morning sitting on the No55 going along Hackney Road, past the Surgery where I'd worked for 5 years (happy crazy memories Fatema) the tears started to flow. All I can say is that there are moments when I realise I'm very attached to my life, that I'm not ready to lose it or leave it and that I'm intensely grateful for it. If it hadn't sunk in before, then today it hit me that this was a significant milestone in the fight. Hackney is full of people, as is London or the whole world for that matter. TodayI was just enjoying watching them out of the window.

This last week on holiday, with inspiring and close friends like Neil and Lynda, Doug and Rach there were chances to talk about all sorts of things. Prayer, healing what it means, parenting, living in relationship and stuff like that. This remains a fairly surreal time for us, when important things get said and sometimes just little things that are said take on new importance.

Amazing time - thanks to those lot. With an incredible setting, a coal fire, the beach, an enormous amount of extremely good food (thanks Neil), our combined children to delight and despair in together and enough time (for once!) to talk - it couldn't fail to be a great holiday.

Now back home the next big hurdle is on Monday morning when we see the Consultant. In the meantime I'm feeling as fit and energetic as ever and so predictably I've got stacks to fit in. For those of you that pray at times like this, we are suggesting a bit of a session on Sunday night might be great. If you live local come and say a prayer with us, light a candle, sing a song, lay a hand on a shoulder, do whatever. Anytime from 8.45pm till 10.30pm here at No33. If you're family down under or up North or on the wrong side of London, just bear us in mind as I know you already are - thank you. Such inadequate words but what else can I say... thank you.

Thought you might enjoy some full-on pics that Neil took a week last Saturday!