Living space

What does one do when one is 'living with cancer'. One tidies of course!

Chris and I are moving into Asha and Kirin's bedroom with balcony door, beautiful Mexican hanging and great evening sunlight. It's quiet and lovely and VERY small. Asha and Kirin are moving into our huge room with ample space to play and invite half the neighbourhood's under fives to sleep-over! We of course describe what's happening as a 'stop and swop' moment in our family - because we're parents and parenting does that sort of thing to you!

What it's really doing is forcing us to look at a whole load of clutter and think about where to put it. For example how many towels does one family need - even if the family are open to lots of visitors? 6? 10? 25? How does it happen? You leave home and live out of a trunk (or at least your parent's boot capacity) for years and then bit by bit you accumulate STUFF...

Earlier this week I got a bit down. Possibly for longer than at any point before. Clearing out our bedroom (and other rooms too) has been incredibly helpful for me. It's practical and tangible and feels like a project. But needless to say it's all pretty fraught, emotionally. For a start, when I got sick a lot of people bought me things - Ive got more body lotions and bath soaks than you can imagine. With everything I handled there's a story, a person who loved me enough to bother.

How can you simplify your living space whilst not losing the gratitude and sense of abundance and indulgence that lots of STUFF brings you?

Then there's the obvious question that haunts me - when I die, what will Chris do with all the Ali stuff? I want to sort things for now, but also for Then.

Chris and I are sharing a journal during Lent. We get an an image of Jesus in the wilderness every day via email (thanks Si Smith wherever you are - they are an inspiration!) and then we write whatever we want everyday - nearly.

On day 3 of Lent, Chris wrote 'I'm running scared more than I admit. The 'longest journey' is that which takes me inward - and there are angers and passions, fears lurking there - they are not familiar to me, a dangerous life is an unreflected-upon life. ...'know thyself'.

Before my sister exclaims at my blogging Chris' heart on the worldwide web - I promise I did ask him first! Sorting stuff, giving away stuff, chosing fewer things to enjoy has helped me reflect on the 'outward me'. I've really only just started. It's fun and very time consuming. I need less chaos and more space to consider. Reflect. Reading what Chris wrote made me realise that I too need to work on the inner passions. I dont want to be de-railed by feelings that are lurking in the piles of unsorted stuff (so to speak) in my soul.

Kirin is ONE tomorrow so I need to go and wrap a pressie. This time last year I was just beginning labour in this very room, with friends cooking pizza out the back and Chris (little did he know it) was about to be the midwife for his own son! Amazing...