Asha hits 4 and Sue and I hit 40!

It's Friday midday and I'm in my PJs, recovering from what has been an amazing week..

On Monday Asha took the day off nursery and enjoyed a day of being made to feel like she was special (well, why not!?). Peter Grandad Oxford, Jessie, Chris, me and Asha got a taxi to Hamleys - London's biggest toy shop, for about 3hours non-stop playing. Being four of course, means that for most of that time buying anything is an irrelevance, playing and looking is enough fun. We taxied it home in time for a little cake and pizza tea with just a few of Asha's friends. An extended lunchbreak upstairs in Hamleys with Peter and the taxis and a short nap meant the day was managable for me, much to Asha's clear delight. When she said that morning 'Are YOU coming too mummy?!' my heart filled up. Guess it is just a reality that when Asha does lots of nice things, mummy goes back to bed. NOT THAT DAY!

Wednesday was the day before our 40th. Mum and dad and Sue, Mark and the kids were due to arrive that evening. A few of my friends had the forethought to realise that a certain present (that I knew nothing about, but I guess lots of you know ALL about) needed a little 'emotional space'. So on Wednesday morning I got presented with the most incredible quilt and beautifully crafted accompanying book. I cried. Of course. 150 or so friends and relatives each sending a piece of themselves to be stitched together into this mad celebration of colour and history and diversity and years of shared memories. It was too amazing. Thank you everyone and especially thank you to the ones that made an incredible idea an actual reality (all that stress and bother and pinning... how can I ever thank you enough?). If you're not on my quilt, I understand, I can never make deadlines like that either! I still love you.

Before I tell you about our 40th I need to tell you about the Willow Foundation. It's a charity whose sole purpose is to give you and your family an all expenses paid, 'dream day'. The catch is you do have to be dying of cancer and under 40 (but I guess there's always a catch with these things!). Anyway, we heard about this charity about 3 weeks before Sue and I were due to celebrate our 40th. We applied anyway. Our idea had been for Sue and I to spend the day together (we were going to borrow keys to Mary's flat and hang out there) and then in the evening mum was going to cook for all of us, including Mark and Amanda who were going to join us in London. The day became a slightly upgraded version of that!

9.40am Sue and I were picked by taxi and taken to the Dorchester Hotel. We were booked-in for the Spa and indulged in the most incredible pampering imaginable! The Dorchester is sort of posh end of posh so when Sue and I have had our treatments and get shown to the rest room, we are offered peppermint tea, champagne and a beautiful porceline plate with 'happy birthday' written in chocolate and a selection of exquistite pastries. An hour later we emerged for a dip in the jacusi and home for a rest.

At 5.00pm a stretch limo shows up on Powerscroft Road to take 11 of us to the Blueprint Cafe above the Design Museum on the South Bank. Only Kirin and Anna were missing from our party. Anna had one special thing, a concert planned for her half-term and it clashed with her aunt's birthday - a hard call. Kirin, being nearly two would simply have been hard work, so got an early night and a new toy car instead. Seeing my mum and dad in the disco interior of a limo will be a memory that lives on! The cafe surpassed expectation in terms of the food and wine flowing and it working for the kids.

Home by about 9pm, not completely believing what we had all just done!


I obviously started this blog on Friday and didn't quite finish it. Asha's party on Saturday - a double decker bus into Epping Forest for a 'bear hunt' and an amazing birthday party after church on Sunday for me, pretty well ensured that at every home-based moment between all the excitment, I was under my duvet rallying for the next thing! Hence no blogging.



Today is Monday and I've just had a very interesting conversation with the OT about managing fatigue and what the routine of a 'normal' day might look like...

My next big, not very normal event at all, is Chris's finale Community Meal this Thursday, where lots of special friends and family are going to be around and we will mark 10 years of good community work in the neighbourhood. Chris is remarkably unstressed by it and I think mainly thanks to Ben who has temporarly stepped into the job. Ben was also our bear on Saturday so he's obviously a man with multiple talents.

So how do I feel at the end of a week that has both demanded so much from me and given me so very, very much back? Well on Sunday morning, I'll be honest, I so nearly couldn't get out of my bed and I remember thinking - staying here under the duvet would, right now, undoubtedly be the easier option. But why just this morning, surely I could be tempted to do that for the next three mornings or three weeks or three months. And at what cost? What might I miss while I was asleep?

Don't get me wrong, I know tiredness is a very real symptom of my cancer and I know over-exertion can make me start to retch and be sick. I perhaps won't try to keep going at this pace, but this week wasn't 'normal'. It certainly was fun though and I'm so glad I was awake enough to enjoy it!!